The blueberries in out-of-package muffin mixes are really dead smurfs that have been stripped of their traditional clothing and put in an industrial food dehydrators. This is done to cut costs in the wake lagging muffin market of 1998 now just continued for the benefit of profit margin. They are gathered in Columbia by rebels to help pay for their Communist ambitions in the region.
The Smurf-Contra Affair is ongoing so I have declined blueberry muffins since 1998.
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