One who prioritizes doing nothing.
Square: Oh my God, this Tuesday was so stressful! After waking up late at 5:27, I rushed to the gym and almost missed my 6:00 Pilates class. After it was over I quickly took a shower, brushed my teeth and shaved. I then realized I had left my Xanax back at my condo. Speeding BACK to my housing unit, I ran and picked up the meds then turned around and headed to off work. Getting to the office by 8:43, grabbed some coffee then headed into the 8:00 sync meeting where we reevaluated the pending transaction with the Taipei plant, discussed the new format for the personnel records and talked about regional integration. I met with a client at 10:45 and then proceeded to work through lunch, stopping to eat a low-carb, transfat free, Vitamin D-enriched salad at my desk at 3:15. I rescheduled the next meeting with my life coach, paid my bills through the end of the month and organized my cubicle. Leaving the office at 7:00, I had dinner by myself at 7:45 and read the paper before getting back to my home at 8:50. I went on the internet to complete the homework for my online MBA program before catching up on The News Hour. How was your Tuesday?
Slacker: Today's Tuesday? Oh, pretty chill I guess. I woke up sometime in the afternoon, ate some Doritos and played video games for about 5 hours, then masturbated to a ton of internet porn. I ordered pizza and watched Netflix until you interrupted me for this hypothetical discussion. Was planning on drinking later on, maybe after I jam out on my guitar or go skating.
::Square, reflecting upon his life, jumps off a bridge::
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