Introduced into our lives during FOX's nationally-broadcasted game between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees on April 16th, 2004, this unwelcome gift from Satan took the form of an animated baseball of the same name.
"Scooter" was designed for the purpose of teaching those new to the game the finer points of pitching, hitting, and fielding, but ended up coming off as just another hokey "Barney-like" gimmick, inciting viewers across America to change the channel or throw something at their television sets when he appeared on their screens multiple times throughout the game. FOX Sports Broadcasters Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will drop everything in mid-sentence if necessary so as not to interrupt Scooter, while baseball purists around the world collectively bang their heads against a wall.
Often compared to "Poochie" from the "Itchy & Scratchy Show" when analyzing the level of annoyance TV watchers feel whenever his character appears on the screen.
Unidentified sources say that there's currently a $1,000,000 bounty on the head of whichever FOX executive actually thought that "Scooter" was a good idea to unleash upon the unsuspecting general public. Currently, no one has stepped up to claim "Scooter" as their creation (or more appropriately, excretion), though rumor has it that three board members of the FOX Sports Programming Committee have filed for passports since "Scooter's" debut appearance.
"I would have disemboweled Scooter without any hesitation whatsoever, but then I realized that he is only an animated baseball. Therefore, I will just have to settle for swinging a sledgehammer into my television screen and pray that FOX would get the message by now."
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