Santa is an old man, and wears red and white. He has a thick, white beard because he forgot to shave it. He breaks into your house, delivering presents for good boys and girls. Whilst he breaks into your house, he steals the mince pies and your dad's beer, making him obese, before creeping up to the children's room to creep on them sleeping, and fills their stockings. He must be a stalker, due to the fact, he knows wear you live, your name, and whether you have been good or not. Santa has three hoes, unlike Tiger woods.
"Santa, please may I have a pony?" "Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas ____! You have been a good little girl haven't you? Let me help myself to some of your beer, thanks."
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