Despite the fact that many believe that poopsocks were invented to sustain the ability to play video games for long periods of time, new evidence suggests that poopsocks were invented much longer ago for and for a very different purpose. A Sock containing fossilized fecal material was recently discovered in the Great Rift Valley. Carbon dating tests estimate the sock and feces are nearly 30,000 years old putting the poopsock at nearly the same time modern culture as we know it began to develop. Similar materials were found in a camp 200 miles away. The camp displayed evidence of an attack as the many skeletons showing sings of battering. Even more interesting was the fact that feces and pieces of sock material were found on the bodies with evidence showing that they may have been used for striking. Thus it is theorized that poopsocks have been in use for many millenniums as a weapon.
Student: Its amazing how quickly the work of Dr. Hydel is advancing our understanding of poopsocks.
Homeless Man: Either give me money or shut the fuck up before I poopsock you!
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