Timing a fake cough in an attempt to audibly mask unavoidable flatus.
Bro 1: "Dude, did you hear? Bill struck out on his date with Jenny."
Bro 2: "No way. What happened?"
Bro 1: "Bad case of Pooping Cough."
Bro 2: "You mean?..."
Bro 1: "Yes, didn't cough loud enough. Dude, I heard he ripped one so loud he fucking levitated like... like fucking David Blane or something!"
Bro 2: "Wow. That's pretty craptastic."
Bro 1: "No, that's an entirely different definition."
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