Any person who takes great pleasure in one of the following acts to another person's pastry...either by penetrating with fingers or another part of the body, or by throwing at a wall at mach-3 to implode it. This person's malicious intent to defile your precious pastries, and his indulgance for piligining your innocent desires for one bite of your chocolate muffin make this individual a pastry pirate!
Boy that Sgt Lowe is sure one hell of a pastry pirate!
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