A web scripting language that is simply better than you. It can talk to databases, plug and chug math you only wet-dreamed about, and paint on freaking digital images. It's so cash, it's variables have to start with dollar signs. Rasmus Lerdorf (aka the jizz hammer) invented this beast.
<?php print 'I\'m better than ' . print_r( $_GET ); ?>
Prices shown in USD.
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