You're better off dead or deaf.
Audience Member: Oh Em Geeeeee! My ears! Aahhhhh! *Attempts to puncture eardrum with piece of wheat grass in a hurry*
Deaf Person: *Signing to companion* Look at that guy trying to make himself go deaf, I told you they were as bad as they look *Smashes bottle of vinegar into eye sockets*
Blind Person: *Smelling around waving stick around in disbelief* Vinegar? I told you we shouldn't have come to this Orange Vinyle concert!
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