np: Michael DeWayne Brown (b 1954-)
(aka: Gilligan. Wile E. Coyote.)
1. n. Former head of Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). FEMA (aka: Federal Excessive Masturbation Autocracy.)
2. n. Former Arabian horse inseminator. (ie-technician who pulls the dong of an Arabian stallion, and then injects the effluent into the cooch of the mare for purposes of pedigree horse breeding. (See: splooge broker.)
3. n. Former splooge broker to President George W Bush. (See patronage appointments.)
4. n. (generic) Any man bearing a strong resemblance to a large slug or turtle, who frequently uses the term ‘balls to the wall.’ Any mollusk-like individual obsessed with balls.
5. n. (generic) A paunchy fashion god of the LLBean type. Any flabby middle-aged caucasian male who believes that rolling up his sleaves makes him appear macho and decisive, despite massive evidence to the contrary (see George W Bush, Dick Cheney, James Earl Carter.)
6. n. (slang: brown bag) A douche bag. An enema bag.
7. n. (generic) A whiner. One who whines, and blames others/everybody for his mistakes. (See stool pigeon.)
8. n (generic) A fall guy. (See Admiral Husband Kimmell.)
9. n. (generic) A scape goat used to draw attention away from a systematic government failure of massive proportions.
10. n. (sports) A coach. (ie-the act of firing the coach of a professional sporting team because it is impossible to fire the owner. See George Steinbrener.)
v. to brown:
1. v. To whine. To blame others for one’s own mistakes.
2. v. To fail miserably at a task, usually as a result of total ineptitude, incomptetence and indecisiveness. To make a bad situation worse through incompetence. (see: cockup, clusterfuck, hump the bunk, fuck the dog.)
3. v. the act of answering urgent emails with ridiculous understatements, suggesting that the recipient did not understand the gravity of the message. (ie-Message: “The 9th ward levy just broke, and New Orleans is under 18 feet of water!” Reply: “Thanks for the update. I’ll start looking for an alternate supplier of mardi gras beads.”)
“Oh stop browning, already. You know it was your fault.”
“Boy did I ever michael brown that job up!”
“Be sure to pack the brown bag for the trip to Mexico. We might need it if we get a case of Montezuma’s revenge.”
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