The slightly neurotic yet completely straight dude that refuses to eat certain desserts or asks about the carb count on his white bread, not because he is trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but because all that excess hydrogenation and those starchy grains are going straight to his thighs.
"Hmm...do you suppose this pita pocket is Best-Life approved?"
"I dunno, kid."
"Whatever, it's going straight to my thighs. I'm getting apples wedges. *slurps Diet Coke*
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