1. A former mill town on the Merrimack River that should have died after the fabled Amoskeag Mills, whose fabric ouput led to the city being dubbed "The "Cottonopolis of the World" in the first decades of the 20th Century, went bankrupt during the Great Depression, but somehow like a ghoulish vampire, the red-brick shithouse hangs on.
2. New England city, the largest north of Boston, that reportedly has more bars, gin mills, and licensed purveyors of strong waters, per capita, than any other city in the United States.
3. The "Queen City" of New Hampshire, which also ranks as the Marijuana Capital of New England, attracting buyers from all over, as the corrupt police force has a hand dealing and protection.
4. A cultural miasma famous for producing the McDonald's brothers, purveyors of the worst food in the world; Grace Metalious, author of the world's worst book "Peyton Place"; and Adam Sandler, the world's worst actor.
"Manchester, New Hampshire would rank as the asshole of the universe," Mr. Youch told his night class at the U.N.H. extension program, "but for one small detail."
"Wassthat?" Perk Pekins asked. I wasn't sure if Porky was leading Youch on or was just a world champion dumbass. I'd put my money on the latter.
"Wassthat?" Pekins asked again when Youch wasn't immediately forthcoming.
"Lewistown, Maine," the professor said in a stenorian tone.
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