MRSA is taking the nation by storm. Recently overblown in exaggerated media reports, high school and college students are dying left and right due to this highly contagious and sexy disease.
It stands for "Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus." Just kidding. It's "Most Rapists Start Aviating."
Unfortunately, MRSA can only be cured by AIDS, and AIDS can only be cured by MRSA. This presents a baffling catch-22 that only the brightest of liberal arts school dropouts can rationalize.
If you have MRSA you are recommended to report it to the media ASAP. Tell your doctor once you have talked to at least 5 news sources.
Jerome: Yo homes, what that boil be up on yo' arm?
Chlamydia: I ain't sure dawg... think it's MRSA?
Willoughby: I'm a docta son, lemme check that shit out.
MRSA is running for office as Barack Obama's VP.
Howie Mandel: The banker has offered you AIDS instead of MRSA. Deal... or no deal?
Contestant: But I only went to community college!
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