MODTHRAX: An AFFLICTION that causes infected party to MODIFY INATIMATE OBJECTS, to give said intimate object CHARACTER/ PERSONALITY.
COMMONLY AFFLICTED PARTIES: GEARHEADS.
AFFLICTION CYCLES/FLARE UPS: the afflicted party is exposed to a new, unaltered product of any type, however primarily related to VEHICLES. The AFFLICTED party is COMPELLED to begin MODIFICATIONS/ IMPROVEMENTS of product IN ANY FORM OR FASHION. As a project approaches completion, WITHDRAWL SYMPTOMS are common, as SPOUSAL CREDIT CARD REVIEWS BEGIN.
OTHER AFFECTED PARTIES: SPOUSES/ family members/friends/coworkers: The EFFECTS of MODTHRAX are SUFFERED by non-afflicted parties in the form of VERBAL IRRITATION, as the most common start of a phrase by the afflicted party will begin: “HONEY!!!!!!!!!! hey check this out; this would be an awesome mod/ upgrade”. As such, irritation will commence SINCE PARTY IS EXPECTED TO STOP WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING TO “CHECK OUT THE COOL MOD”. modthrax is also responsible for many strained relationships among spouses, second only to money. Modthrax has also been likened to INFIDELITY, however this myth cannot be substantiated as inanimate objects do not having feelings, and spouses do.
PRIMARY SYMPTONS OF MODTHRAX:
•LATE NIGHTS SURFING VEHICLE FORUMS IN SEARCH OF ADVICE AND INFORMATION ON FREE/CHEAP MODIFICATIONS.
•CONSTANT CONVERSATION ABOUT SAID VEHICLE MODIFICATIONS TO ANYONE AVAILABLE
•PERUSING CATALOGUES & WEBSITES IN SEARCH OF PRICE AND AVAILIBILITY OF COMPONENTS
•CONSTANT DISTRACTION/ LACK OF CONCENTRATION IN REGRADS TO SPOUSAL OBLIGATIONS
•INSTRUCTIONG CHILDREN OF AFFLICATED INDIVDUAL AS TO PRPER USE AND SELECTION OF TOOLS/ PRODUCTS TO COMPLETE MODIFICATION
•ATTENDING CAR/TRUCK CLUB EVENTS/SHOWS & ENTERING SAID MODIFIED VEHICLE FOR JUDGING.
•TRYING TO JUSTIFY EXPENSE OF MODIFICATIONS TO SPOUSE AS PERFORMANCE UPGRADES TO ENHANCE/REDUCE THE MPG CONSUMPTION OF THE VEHICLE.
MODTHRAX CURES: NONE
Prices shown in USD.
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