An extremely petite woman who any man with a remotely respectably-sized cock would send to the emergency room. Now, add a healthy hog to the equation and visualize the wedge splitting that log right in two!
Guy 1: Hey dude, were you with Jen last night?
Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?
Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...
Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.
Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
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