A piece of writing that is such a failure, it is worse than an abortion.
"So I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me?"
"What are you going to watch? I hope it's not Twilight."
"Dip me in shit and call me Susan, how could you have ever guessed?"
"Well, Twilight is number one in the box office, so its sells went up a lot. The only reason I don't want to watch it is because it was based on the book, which was a literary abortion."
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