Linus is the Non-Existent Self-Proclaimed Pagan God of the cult Linii. Has the powers to bestow jobs onto members of his cult, making them carry out sacred duties and occult practices. These duties include giving Linus handjobs, blowjobs, getting bdsmed by Linus among other things. These divine practices are sacramental and must be carried out with pride. Any member of the Linii refusing these duties would be punished severely by blasphemous acts such as getting circumcised and castrated. He would then be raped and bdsmed in the ass before having his body seared with the holy cleansing flame. Finally, necrophilia and bukkake will be performed on his blazing corpse as the life force slowly seeps out of the zealot. Such is the punishment of one who offends Linus.
Adaptation of Julius Caesar, a play by Shakespeare
Calpurnia: "I doth fear greatly for my lord’s safety. O Mighty Linus, I prithee, protect Caesar, O Caesar, thy pride beest thy downfall"
Member of Linii: "O Mighty and Omnipotent Linus, grant me the Libido to last for 29 minutes. As I pray, provide me the sex drive I desire."
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