a person who is usually obscene with his finger dick and verbally and who is lame about losing at video games. He will usually be there for a person.
Me: Hey whats going on?
John: Your mom was so good last night.
John: I just jizzed in my pants. *immitates masturbation*
Me: Hey I need your help.
John: Yea dude what's up?
Me: This kid has it out for me.
John: His dick?
Me: No like he wants to beat me up. Stop being a Kevin Parfitt.
John: I'll get him for you. BTW, I cummed on your bed last night.
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