If you want torture, they've got it: iron maidens, thumbscrews (the original gameboys), the rack (not tits, folks), the wheel, cat o' ninetails, anal pears, whips, water-torture (but not Chinese because Jesuits considered them heathens), and painful vises to make you confess even imaginary vices! This is the Spanish Inquisition at its finest. You want zealots; Jesuits are Zealot's-R-Us's finest antique models.
Can you think of anything better than being brutally tortured until you confess to being a filthy heathen (probably a jew) in love with (and having had vast orgies with the minions of) Satan?
What a bunch of bastards...
"NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
(partly taken from Monty Python)
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