J. Percy Page High School is a high school located in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. The "J" has been presumed to stand for jail. The teaching staff mostly consists of (but not limited to) racists, communists, and pricks. Two of the most common occurrences include being cut in front of at the line in the cafeteria by kids much cooler than you, and/or holding open a double-door for some chick who will just end up using the other door, ignoring you, because she's just way too hot for your courteous gestures. The majority of the students at this school are morons who can't stop talking about weed, partying, and shitty Import cars.
Attending J. Percy Page High School was the absolute worst decision I had ever made in my entire life. Most of my time was spent coupled with kids in remedial classes because the teachers there had failed to realize that I did not belong there, but that I was just lazy. I would spend my days sitting at the back of the room, all by myself, completely alone, listening to people talk about shit that made me want to stick my entire fucking body in an industrial meatgrinder. My bouts of happiness would come from excusing myself to use the washroom, just so I could rub one out, or, roaming the halls in between classes trying to make meaningful eye contact with some other lost soul who could feel my pain, and swallow my gargantuan load. Oh, and just incase you were wondering, I never did find that person. With the exception of the always awesome Mr. Mitchell (best teacher in the Known Universe nominee for sure) who was always kind to a skinny, brown and overly tall weirdo such as myself, everyone who has, is or will step foot in this place is a complete asswipe. Even after having left this place two years ago, I still feel an urgency to let the Universe know my story. Whether you read this five months from now, five years from now, or even five hundred years from now, whatever you do, do NOT go to J. Percy Page High School.
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