A more popular but rather obscure variation of the 5 second rule. (Lots of people do it, but no one talks about it.)
After the food makes contact with the floor or any other undesirable surfaces, pick it up, hold it in your hands and recite the words "it's still good, it's still good" desperately. Making the food instantly eatable again.
Variations may include: Blowing on it, wiping it, or just looking around real quick before devouring it.
Homer Simpson rule
Tom hadn't eaten in four days. When he finally got home, he made himself a sandwich while eating extra ingredients and telling himself "fuck maybe i should have made another sandwich with them instead of doing that".
Tom then goes to eat his finished product but elas drops it on the floor. Picking it up, devastated, and on the verge of tears, he cries out "it's still good....it's still good"
And then he eats it.
God i suck at writing. Sorry.
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