What androids say to intruders. This allows them to determine whether or not the intruder is an android himself, as android-non android relations is frowned upon in the Commonwealth. Upon detection of a non-android body within the range of his visual scanners, an android may sound the alarm, whereupon the intruder will be instantly vaporized by alarm-response androids. As such, it is recommended that if a non-android wishes to "learn the ways" of the android, that he or she must follow the following directions:
Step 1: Crouch outside of the range of the android's visual scanner.
Step 2: Sidle up to the android in question, being sure not to look it in the eye.
Step 3: If the android does not detect an intruder, commence learning the ways of the android.
Note: This works best in close proximity to the Commonwealth Public-Use Industrial Capacitive Reactive Surface #36, colloquially known as the "Boss Door."
Android #1 is minding his own business, guarding a resting Mobile Grinder.
Intruder: "Why hello there Android #1! Might you direct me to the nearest Boss Door, or perhaps to a checkpoint?"
Android #1: "Halt! Identify!"
Intruder: "Oh dear, I must have offended his delicate sensibilities. Time to block and release."
Prices shown in USD.
Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!
Emails are sent from firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll never spam you.