Seaside town on the south east coast of England. Population around 50,000. Features of note: Debenhams (geriatrics' department store), two branches of Sainsbury's (a British supermarket), The Leas Cliff Hall (entertainment venue for once great acts before they finally fold or retire), for some reason a couple of very good grammar schools (The Folkestone School for Girls, The Harvey Grammar School), The Channel Tunnel and also 304 funeral directors.
Minor features: A pleasant fishing harbour, a soft drinks factory (Silver Spring Mineral Water Co Ltd), some chalk hills and a town centre infested with Chavs. Focal point of life for under eighteens is probably McDonald’s or KFC. For the over 65’s then it’s one of the 285 General Practitioners the town boasts – or the Cardiac Unit at the William Harvey Hospital, Ashford, prior to the services of the above mentioned army of undertakers.
Folkestone is not a young person's town, though does seem to be a minor magnet for asylum seekers. You can often see the police picking them up on the motorway where they’ve just popped out of the back of some unsuspecting lorry that’s just arrived on the Eurotunnel or on a ferry in Dover.
Yes, I've been to Folkestone. Biggest departure lounge in Britain - thousands of old codgers shuffling around waiting for the Grim Reaper or a Blue-Cross Saver Day at Debenhams. The air was full of vultures waiting for an easy meal.
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