Elves as described by the Dwarves
Elves are smelly, stuck-up, arrogant tree-fondling hippies dedicated to the protection of their concept of nature (focused on trees).
Elven caravans arrive in late spring. During trade, elves will not accept wood, wooden items or any goods decorated with wood.
Elves will, however, gladly trade you their own wooden items. They will not, however, accept their wooden items back. Bunch of hypocritical bastards.
Elven ethics often differ from those of other races. They are likely to be friendly with dwarves, at least until they cut down too many trees. Elves are the only race which wholeheartedly accepts devouring enemy combatants. History shows that an elven combatant will sometimes devour the other person they were fighting when they win. However elves refuse to butcher and consume intelligent beings. Elves find torturing as an example acceptable. To elves, keeping any trophy of any kind is an unthinkable act. Elves allow for killing animals when done in self-defense, and the killing of other elves by an elf is justified if there is an extremely good reason. For elves, the killing of plants is unthinkable. On the other hand, the killing of neutral beings and enemies is acceptable. Elves never offer capital punishment to criminals; instead, elves found to have committed petty crimes are reprimanded, while those convicted of treason, breaking oaths, or participating in slavery are exiled.
Dwarf #1 : Hey why is the elven trade caravan leaving? The outside is swarming with the undead!
Dwarf #2 : One of the children gave the elves a wooden box of diamonds and they refused to stay any longer.
Dwarf #1 : ...want to loot there bodies when they get eaten alive?
Dwarf #2 : I thought you'd never ask friend!
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