Citizen of Des Moines, Iowa's east side of the city. From the toxic waste rail yards to the most northeastern parts of the city, an eastsider can always be identified by their sub-human persona.
Des Moines Eastsider - Examples
Look for vehicles and attire plastered with EASTSIDER or eastsider 4 life.
Also reference numerous telltale signs of a true eastsider.
Male: Absent expression, gang-banger garb, arrogant, loud, obnoxious, always flying gang signs, numerous tatoos on arms and neck. Smell of garbage. On "celly" with baby-momma who is wanting more money usually yelling at top of their lungs. Drive POS ghetto cruisers with EASTSIDER on windscreen. Vehicle has "22's" that are worth more than total car value.
Female: Unattractive, two or more children with different fathers, overweight, on "celly" with her baby-daddy wanting more money, tatoos on arms and neck, smell of tuna, arrogant, drives busted up ghetto cruisers with eastsider plastered on the windows, kids jumping around the car whilst driving on city streets, yelling at children at stores.
All of whom frequent WalMart stores, beer gardens and county fairs with ungroomed children. Drive city streets as if they own the boulevard. Usually not found out of their own element due to low self esteem and heavy body odor.
Caution: Eastsiders should be approached with extreme caution and a bottle of Lysol. The initial shock of interacting with one will leave your IQ many points lower. Usually found working at fast food restaurants, warehouses, used car dealerships and pawn shops. An eastsider is a master of deceit. They will lie, cheat and steal anything to attempt to advance in society. Be wary of eastsiders, your life could be in harms way around them. Do not befriend once their identity is known. Destruction, sorrow and death follow in their wake.
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