The aforementioned beast is also legendarily dim when it comes to the operation of technology, particularly mobile phones; it has managed to break, lose or consume at least 17000 phones and when it has been in possession of one it will remarkably regularly fail to answer said phone, reply to text messages or even have said phone turned on.
It's also interesting to note that from time to time it will be noted to have what can only be described as a 'hideous paunch'
"Here did you text Codjer about it?"
"Aye man but he's probably swallowed his phone again"
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