we were fighting infected all across the square
the scent of their blood was in the air
a witch in the courtyard gave us quite a scare
and things only got worse from there
when a hunter grabbed bill and thrashed him in twain
francis was hung by a smoker as he howled in pain
zoey with her pistol and took careful aim
she fired 2 shots, but it was all in vain
just then, when all hope had been burned and bled
the infected all scream and turned and fled
clothed in a flannel shirt blue black and red
came an angel of Badass, named Chicago Ted
with his twin shotguns a blazing, he slaughtered that horde
till he got bored of that, and switched to his sword
his cap coated in blood, while us he ignored
for the thrill of the hunt was his own reward
now he was no chuck norris, dont get me wrong
but ted could do this crap all day long
the survivors lept up and fought along
but ted would do this work for a song
with corpses piled as high as can be
Ol' ted lit a smoke, and howled with glee
as he used his sword to carve knotches you see
into his belt, a thousand times 53
as a tank round the corner, we filled up with dread
but he just laughed an shook his head
with a powerful holler the wild savior said
"NO ZOMBIE IS SAFE FROM CHICAGO TED!"
'Chicago Ted' makes my manhood feel less manly.
Prices shown in USD.
Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!
Emails are sent from email@example.com. We'll never spam you.