Bros ruin everything they touch. They are deeply racist, yet vulture-ize black culture with attempts to be "down", while living as far from any ghetto as humanly possible. It's because they seek danger, or the illusion of it.
A Bro Ho? What is a Bro Ho, you might be asking. A Bro Ho is also known as a Blouser: "Those girls with blonde hair with dark streaks in it, ugg boot wearing, mini skirt flaunting, too much makeup, a wife beater in 30 degree weather, a trucker hat while wearing the above-stated outfit...and they're passed out after two drinks." The Bro Ho is the favorite target of the Bro, and when he finds this target he is able to reproduce rapidly, in much the same way as a layer of scum on the underside of a rowboat.
But, as important as sex is, his transport (or his "whip" or his "ride") is always a Bro's number-one priority. The Bromobile is central to one's sense of Bro-ness, and that mode of transport is almost always a truck. A monstrously inefficient, raised and modified American pickup that is in inverse proportion to its owner's penis.
And speaking of penises, Bros have also brought the concept of homophobia to a new level. You see, they love play fighting, tackling their mates, and joke incessantly about each other's wieners. But they will claim that there is no connection whatsoever between their overuse of the term "faggot", their intense desires for close physical kinship with their pals, and their own closeted Bromosexuality.
A substantial portion of the Bro population enjoys daydreaming too, and often these daydreams influence the way they speak and act. Bros everywhere can identify with Marshall Mathers, someone who committed identity theft and made millions as the fantasy rapper "Eminem". Members of the Bro tribe like to think that they will also be looked upon with as much respect if they not only act hostile and indifferent toward everyone around them, but take it one step beyond as full-fledged "gangsters" in their own tree-lined suburbs. And if they live life in the fast lane, the way Eminem appears to, they'll achieve immortality -- or at least get more action. Some members of the Bro subspecies find Eminem a bit soft though, and prefer the more street-oriented sounds of The Kottonmouth Kings, who grew up -- like their fans -- in the lily white suburbs on a strict diet of the kind of sickening violence rampant in nearly every white, middle class household. When a Bro pops a KMK cd in his truck stereo he instantly feels as though his entire ghetto is riding shotgun and watching his back.
So, cruising down the street with a cell phone in one hand, ringing up a bootie call, eating beef jerky, and trying to stay in one lane, Bros are determined to leave their mark on society. While some might think they are merely a passing fad, I regard Bros as the
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