The coolest town in all of Canada. A place where you can learn to play guitar, go to the library, and buy crystal meth all on one street. The people are rude, the down town is a hole, and the high schools are breeding grounds for sluts. There's only one bookstore and the mall is shit. There are more Tim Hortons than gas stations. The kids are selfish brats, and you can get mugged walking your dog. More people smoke pot here than in Amsterdam. There are five high schools-no one counts tolgate-which are Assumption, BCI, North Park, PJ, and St. John's.
The town has limited night spots, and these spots are trashy dumps. But still, Brantford is the coolest place in Canada. You have to live here to get it.
Person One: Give me your money.
Person Two: Are you from Brantford?
Person One: How did you know?
Person Two: Because you're jumping me....and you're a vodka obsessed crystal meth loving ford planter slut.
Person One: You are correct. Good day.
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