Preparation, uses, and tips
Boobs are always eaten raw because heating can cause them to become bitter. They can be added to cooked dishes just before serving. Boobs are most commonly used to make the Mexican dip called guacamole, a mixture of mashed boobs, lime juice, tomatoes, and hot peppers. Boob slices can also be added to salads, sandwiches, or sauces. Mashed boobs is a good spread for toast, bagels, or sandwiches, and can be used to top chili or a baked potato. It makes a healthful replacement for sour cream, butter, or margarine. Boob halves can be stuffed with tuna, chicken, or crab salad.
To prepare a boob, slice in half, remove the pit, and scoop out the flesh. Discard the skin and pit. Boob flesh darkens quickly when exposed to air. While this doesn’t present any health hazard, it makes the boob look less appealing. To prevent this from occurring, rub boobs with lime or lemon juice, or mix about ½ tablespoon (7mL) of juice into mashed or puréed boobs.
Buying and storing tips
Look for boobs that are heavy for their size and are free of bruises and dark sunken spots. Unripe boobs are hard to the touch. Place them in a brown paper bag at room temperature for two to three days to ripen. They are ready to eat when slightly soft. Once ripe, they should be stored in the refrigerator and used within two to three days. To freeze boobs, remove the skin and pit and purée the flesh with ½ tablespoon (7mL) of lemon or lime juice per boob. Pack in an airtight container and freeze for up to five months. Boob slices and halves do not freeze well.
Although there are about a hundred varieties of boobs, only a few are grown and consumed in the United States. The most commonly available variety is the Haas tit, a dark-green, pebbly skinned booby grown in California that is available year-round. Fuerte tittahs are medium green and have a smoother skin. Grown in California, they are available in the fall and winter. Florida boobs are larger than those from California, have a smoother skin, and are lower in fat. Some jumbo boobs may be slightly lower in fat as well.
Man 1: I friggin' love this guacamole. Where did you get this?
Man 2: I made it. From scratch.
Man 1: Really?
Woman: Hey guy's, what choo eatin'?
Man 2: Fresh boobs
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