A person of the male persuasion who is prone to making promises and commitments he is constitutionally incapable of fulfilling. Upon realizing his incompetency, he acts as if nothing ever happened and labels himself "ASSBAG", mainly in an effort to make people laugh. What this "ASSBAG" (a.k.a. Tony B.) fails to recognize is naming himself assbag is probably the first truthful statement he's made in the situation he created.
ASSBAG: moves girlfriend 3000 miles to be with him, making promises of a family and marriage..a week after girlfriend has been home, ASSBAG has a moment of clarity and, to protect "girlfriend" from having her feelings hurt down the road, breaks up with her..but not before they've had sex, of course...
Girlfriend continues living with ASSBAG, having no other option at that point. Of course, human nature interferes, and the two continue sharing a bed and have sex a few more times.
Lo and behold, ASSBAG and ex-girlfriend are now expecting a child together...
The best part: ASSBAG pretends like nothing has ever happened, still...aside from a few text messages immediately following the news of the pregnancy, ASSBAG hasn't mentioned ONE WORD about their living situation or their baby....
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