A republican who:
1. Protests taxation WITH representation (just because you disagree with it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist)
2. Thinks colonial Americans were prophetic, just because they lived during an earlier time period
3. Falsely claims that the 2009 Teabagging Festival was "bipartisan"
4. Agrees with Joe the Plumber on most major issues
5. Agrees with Glenn Beck, but can't explain exactly what he or they stand for
6. Doesn't understand Constitutional law
7. Doesn't understand what democracy is
8. Blindly uses the words "socialism" and "communism" without knowing what the fuck they mean
9. claims not to be a republican
10. Criticizes democrats, even though their own party has been in office for the past 8 years
11. Thinks the GOP needs to be "more conservative" to get more votes
12. Will listen to every high school dropout before hearing the opinion of ONE intellectual
13. Believes that Fox News is "fair and balanced"
14. Claims to be independent, but certainly doesn't have any liberal beliefs, and listens to guest speakers from the CPAC conference
15. Is a closet anarchist/Paultard
16. Thrives on a mob mentality
17. Prides himself/herself on doing everything he/she has made fun of when Bush was in office
18. Says things like "Where's MY bailout" without understanding how the economy works
19. Like Glenn Beck, has an extremely high word-to-meaning ratio
20. Uses TONS of words from the GOPAC memos of 1990
21. Thinks Russia is still a "threat" to the U.S.
22. Thinks China is still a "threat" to the U.S.
23. Thinks Cuba is still a "threat" to the U.S.
24. Thinks Europeans hate living in Europe
25. Doesn't believe Obama's actual birth certificate is real, but has no problems with McCain's ties to the Iran-Contra Affair or the Keating Five
26. Would rather have the GOP tell them which hole they can put their own DICK into, than raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans from 36% to 39%
27. Doesn't realize that they actually benefit from the stimulus package
28. Is only teabagging because Sean Hannity told them to
29. Says they like books by Ayn Rand, but cannot correctly pronounce her name
30. Gets their information from Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Google searches, YouTube videos, partisan blogs, and Wikipedia
"No taxation without representation!"
--"Um, wasn't Barack Obama DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED?"
--"And didn't he win fair and square?"
--"Where did you learn about ACORN?"
"Um, Michael Savage said..."
--"Didn't Michael Savage also say that most autistic children are just 'putzes' who need to shut up?"
--"And how's the stock market doing today?"
"It's soaring." :(
--"It is, isn't it?"
--"Now what did you learn?"
"Don't be a teabagger on national TV until I have proof that Obama's economic policy has actually done some damage."
--"That's right, and it hasn't yet, has it?"
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