| 1. | middle school | ||
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The 3 years of shit you go through just to graduate and stand 4 more years of shit. The classes are boring, with exams up to the Wazoo. Lunch is the hamburgers from last week, but now they're disguising them as soup. If you're lucky and have recess, it only lasts 15 minutes, and all you do is stand there. Teachers give you an assload of homework and projects, and expect you to finish them in one night.
Your parents don't care if you're getting bullied, but once you get a bad grade they're on your ass about it. Don't worry, it'll all be over soon. 1. Teacher: Now class, your homework is pages 141-145, All problems. Oh, and you have a project due tomorrow.
2. Lunch today: Soupy Surprise 3. Kid: Mom, this kid at school is bullying me. Mom: Just ignore him. Later... Mom: YOU GOT AN F?! YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR TWO WEEKS! Kid: Damnit. High schooler: Enjoying middle school? Middle schooler: No. High schooler: It'll be over soon enough. |
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| 2. | middle school | ||
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The 3 years of shit you go through just to graduate and stand 4 more years of shit. The classes are boring, with exams up to the Wazoo. Lunch is the hamburgers from last week, but now they're disguising them as soup. If you're lucky and have recess, it only lasts 15 minutes, and all you do is stand there. Teachers give you an assload of homework and projects, and expect you to finish them in one night.
Your parents don't care if you're getting bullied, but once you get a bad grade they're on your ass about it. Don't worry, it'll all be over soon. 1. Teacher: Now class, your homework is pages 141-145, All problems. Oh, and you have a project due tomorrow.
2. Lunch today: Soupy Surprise 3. Kid: Mom, this kid at school is bullying me. Mom: Just ignore him. Later... Mom: YOU GOT AN F?! YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR TWO WEEKS! Kid: Damnit. High schooler: Enjoying middle school? Middle schooler: No. High schooler: It'll be over soon enough. |
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| 3. | Disappointed | ||
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What your parents are the morning after you snuck out of the house to a rave, and got brought home naked wasted by the cops. Girl 1: *Slurs words* I'm sorry.
Mom: Sorry will never be enough. Your father and i are disappointed in you, and we will make you feel like shit and hella guilty, because you are the worst child ever. *Voice of satan* YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!!!!. Father: Yeah, exactly what your mother says. Girl 1: I need another drink if this is what my life will be like for the next few years til i'm 18. |
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| 4. | dad | ||
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Just try to win an argument with him. Then tell me the results when you're not grounded anymore. Dad: "BLAHBLAHBLABLAHSCHOOLBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHSLEEPBLAHBLAHBLAHCOMPUTERBLAHBLAHBLAHYOUDOEVERYTHINGWRONGBLAHBLAHBLAH"
Son: "But dad, I-" Dad: "FUCK YOU YOU'RE GROUNDED" |
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| 5. | SIM Card Switch | ||
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Verb.
The process of putting your sim card into your old phone when your parents take your phone because you're grounded. SIM card switching is commonly done by teens. Teen1: "Hey!!"
Teen2: "Hey how're you texting i thought you were grounded?" Teen1: "I did a SIM card switch and I'm using my old phone :) I'm so smart." Teen2: "That IS smart.. I'm gonna do that next time I'm grounded!" |
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| 6. | Parents | ||
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The people that every child hates, whether they say so or not. The only ways of escaping them include dying, turning 18 and buying a house, or simply running away. The last one is not reccommened. -CHARACTER TRAITS & HABITS:- • They think that they know everything about you, including your food, music, movie, personality, and sexual preference. Once again, they're always right, even when you're obviously nothing like what they say. • They believe that they reserve the right to automatically win any arguement of their choosing. When the far greater majority believes the oppsosite of what they say, but is comprised if children, the parent/s can automatically win and end the argument by saying "ENOUGH!" or "too bad", and nothing else can be said about it without serious risk of getting grounded or being ranted at/dismembered. This goes for anything else they say as well. • They will often embarass you in front of your friends. The parent/s will often claim that they "forgot" or they "won't do it again", despite the fact that even they know that that isn't true. Every person has at least one story of this. • Nearly every father will attempt to crack a wisey/pun/obviously crappy joke to your friends. Said friends will either pretend to laugh and then secretly shun you, or just drop you and not hang out with you. -Parents: Hey son! You know that 2+2=5?
more...
-Child: Actually, we all know that it's 4... -Parent: *swears under their breath* AHA, but I was just testing you! -Parent: Come on son, let's go to the P!NK festival! -Child: *honestly* AWW DAD, I hate P!NK! You take me every year and I never enjoy myself! -Parent: Yes you do, you just haven't given it a chance. Now shut up. -Child: Dad, can I go to the party and play HALO? -Parent: No you can't! Those things are bad for every part of you! You are never going to a party! EVER! -Child: But dad-! -Parent: SHUT UP KID OR YOU'RE GROUNDED! -Child: Now don't say anything, just drop me off at school. -Mother: Sure thing darling. *2 MINUTES LATER* -Mother: Now don't forget darling, we're going tampon shopping on the weekend, and you can get that pink fluffy SESAME STREET one you've been gasbagging about! I love you honey-poo! -Friend: Ms. Smith, can I have an ice cream? -Mother: Sure thing, kid! -Child: Mother, may I have an ice cream, please? -Mother: NO, YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER? GO AWAY! -Child, thinking: Man I hop dad doesn't show off his legendary humour skills... -Father: HEY KIDS! Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!! *cracks up* Man I'm hilarious! Eh, kids? -Friends: No, we're gonn... |
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| 7. | text reflex | ||
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When you send or respond to a text without fully thinking about the consequences of doing so. Similar to drunk texting but you're completely sober. Its more just plain impulsive Example 1:
Father: You stayed out too late at that party last night; you're grounded for the next week Son: Fuck you old man! Father: make that the next month Son: C'mon dad, that was my text reflex! Example 2: Texter Dude 1: Hey baby, you wanna go hookup behind the bleachers? Texter Chick 1: Hell no you creeper! WTF is up with u? Drunk? Texter Chick 1's friend: Yah, that was his text reflex |
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