In 1810 when Mexico declared independance from spain, brigands from slavic decent sparked revolution from Mexico's core. These revolutionaries were known as yogzula, a term most feared but respected back in Mexico's early heritage. A yogzula was a member of the Yugoslavian Brigade of Muskateers who invaded Mexico to begin drug trafficking and pimping for profit in Mexico's early days of independance while the government was weak. For years these men took young women captive and pimped them out to native countries, and beat down anybody who tried to stand in there way. These men became respected through the nation because of the fear they instilled in many, and the badass attitude they radiated in their mannorisms. It was only a matter of time before revolutionary Thomas Armstrong, close friend of Antarctic settler Louis Young, decided it was time to take action against the pirateers. Louis Young trained Thomas in the ways of gorilla warfare, and in the late 1700's, gave him his 6th blackbelt in martial arts. After 10 years of fighting on the Mexican front, Thomas knocked up a woman by the name of Mary Callihan, who was then sent to reside in Antarctica to give birth to his child. During the 11th year of battle between the Thomas Armstrong gorilla tactical forces and the Yugoslavian Brigade of Muskateers, a final battle would decide the outcome of it all. The date was March 22, 1822 and the two forces of triumph gallently marched toward each other on the luscious hills of Progreso Merido. After a full day of bloody warfare Thomas appeared victorious, until a mounted soldier came riding over the hills in a glorious entry, framed by the setting sun. Just as the last yogzulian soldier hit the floor a viscious battle cry echoed throughout the hills. This was the rage of the last yogzula. This ronin traveled without a name, and he was said to have been sent by the heavens to reclaim the land his fallen comrades fought so valiantely for. With a steadfast fist and unwavering will the last yogzula smashed through the enemy forces of Thomas Armstrong, finally leaving only two men standing, Thomas and himself. Thomas stood no match for the last yogzula, and the battle was quickly over. Before dawn the last Yogzula had vanished, nowhere to be seen again. However, it is rumored that Mary Callihan was abducted by the last Yogzula, and he magically seperated her fetus from the womb, and granted it immortality. However he could not figure out how to reattach the fetus so it died anyway, but in return the last Yogzula banged Mary in the depths of anarctica, and left but with one mutter, "my son will one day become king, to honor my legacy." Without a doubt the last yogzula's words became true when Mary gave birth to his son, who then went on to establish Yugoslavia in his fathers honor. However the king was unable to maintain the country and it was abolished in 1945 by the Axis of evil, and the prince of Yugoslavia, Rashim Yimbana, cursed his fathers name and vowed to restore honor to his grandfather. Rashim died in a viscious assault many years later, but not before knocking up many women, and with one of those women lied the future of the Yogzulian clan. The last Yogzula was reborn, but to this day remains unknown, but his legacy forever remembered.
Check out that yogzula, he is certainly the most badass fellow i have layed eyes on in years, and he probably has a larger penis than me.