Jewish tradition on Dec. 25 -- hitting the movies and eating at a Chinese, Thai, etc. restaurant.
Moishe, you got any plans for Cinenosh? We're thinking about "Avatar" at 12:30 and then maybe grab some pad Thai.
to-rah-fo-bi-uh –noun. An acute or chronic intellectual disorder characterized by extreme, persistent, and irrational fear of Torah, the activity of obeying Torah, or a situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid Torah sometimes accompanied by ad hominem attacks on those who love Torah.more...
Long Term Consequences of Torahphobia: Chronic. May be eternal and may prevent some from hearing, obeying, or entering the renewed covenant in Y'shua.
Short Term Consequenses of Torahphobia: An acute amnesia causing one to forget that scripture is the final authority.
Acute symptoms include cerebral cortex edema leading to a loss of basic fundamental logical reasoning and reading skills.
Chronic symptoms include eating pork and all other unclean foods, the blatant celebration of satanically inspired holy days including but not limited to x-mas, valentines day, sun-day spiritual exercises, etc.
To date there is only one known cure: A love inspired obedience to Torah through the redemptive work of Y'shua.
TpD (Torahphobia Disorder) can manifest with unexpected consequences such as an acute flareup which sometimes causes strange events such as facebook defriending and emotional and irrational outbursts of rage directed towards the witness/messenger.
If TpD causes too much stress, it may be rediagnosed as TpSD.
The premature celebration of the Christmas holiday that is so often and annoyingly practiced by society. Symptoms include commercials shamelessly featuring holiday tunes and imagery the day we turn the calendar to November, store aisles being speckled with red and green products as early as mid-October, and post Black Friday you'd have to be a hermit not to hear a little jolly x-mas ditty every single day.
Yep, each year America pretty much jizzes in its red/green plaid pants all over its jingle balls in a pre-xmasculatory fashion before December can even take her "Santa's little helper" lingerie off.
Wall-mart is already stocking the shelves with Christmas shit? Halloween was freaking yesterday, premature xmas-culation much?!
|25.||Throw rocks at trains|
Throwing rocks at trains is an acceptable alternative to engaging in mainstream activities on any given holiday due to your inability to properly participate for any reason. This is taken from Charlie and Mac's tradition in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia of throwing rocks at trains on Christmas.
I just found out my mom would sell herself to buy x-mas presents for me. Screw xmas, I'm going to go throw rocks at trains.
guy one: It's valentines day and we both are alone.. again. man this sucks.
guy two: yeah I guess we should go throw rocks at trains.. again.
fat girl: Can i come?
guys one and two: Uhhhh... no.