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85.
wi-men The root of all evil.
Person A: What got us kicked out of the garden of Eden?

Person B: That bitch with the 70's porn pubes between her legs tempted Adam with a healthy apple while he was eating doritos and watching the game. He took one bite and Morgan Freeman bitch slapped his ass out of the garden along with his bitch wife. Afterwards, she started nagging about how this would not have happened if he paid more attention to her and then she wondered off subject until she started blaming him for the five extra pounds she gained since she left the garden.

Person A: So women fucked us over?

Person B: Damn straight.
by uzi killer January 30, 2011
71 252
 
86.
Kitchen worker.
Man: " Go be a women and make me a sammich "
by Buttsac! March 14, 2011
92 278
 
87.
Parasites that use a weak appearance with less muscle mass to lure prey (men), and latch onto them with their vaginas. Once connected they inject a fluid called pleasure along with a venom known as guilt trips that keep their victim paralyzed yet hopelessly bamboozled as they proceed to drain precious money, time and marijuana from them.
Christine: Hold on, I have to go check my phone.

Chase: Wait, hold on. Pay your half of the check first.

Christine: What? I thought this was a date.

Chase: Yeah, you damn parasite. But that doesn't mean that I have to pay for EVERYTHING. You fucking tapeworm...

Christine: *puts $8 on the table* Damn then, here.*Walks away*

Chase: Damn women, thinking I'll always fall for that bullshit..
by APotSmokingCentipede April 14, 2011
58 245
 
88.
Women:
Extremely expensive, extremely time consuming, extremely upsetting, extremely complicated, extremely high maintenance, extremely annoying at times, & extremely emotional all the time. Women also make some very bad cooks, so be careful. Backstabbing gold digging bitches.
Women are extremely complicated & expensive, but men are easy & cheap. Men are easy like the controls to bicycles & women are extremely complicated & expensive like controls to a Space shuttle. You will never understand women, so give up & go with the flow.

Women can cause men to feel extreme anger & intense regret
Your stereotypical woman is a gold digging self centered bitch who is willing to lie, cheat, kill, & steal to get ahead in life.
by jugernaut76 December 20, 2010
68 267
 
89.
The thing that belongs in the kitchen.
Go make me a sandwhich women!
by MarieBetch March 19, 2011
59 265
 
90.
Hey, I'm no huge feminist at all, but some of these definitions are pretty bad. We often do a hell of a lot more than you guys can. Yeah, I know this is overused, but how'd you like pushing a human being out of your body?
However, I do completely agree on a few things. I can bleed, push a baby out of my body, nurse, and pour boiling hot wax on my legs and rip the hair off, but yes - I am terrified of spiders. They scare the frigging shit out of me.
And I can be incredibly illogical, conniving, manipulative, and spoiled into getting what I want, including the occasional abrupt shift in mood. But not that y'all don't have your freaky quirks as well. You guys are weird, annoying, and you're WAY too hung up on ESPN.

But that one about rape was sick and unfunny. How do you report that?

By the way, everyone, Happy 2006! Yeah, whatever.It's 3 a.m. and I'm here.
Mood-swing woman

Other woman: I'm so happy!
Woman: Really! Well I'm glad -
Other woman: Shut up.

Women's tolerance

Other woman's husband later that night:Honey, can you make me a four-course meal?
Other woman: Sure.
Other woman's husband: Honey, can you drive forty miles and get me some wine?
Other woman: Sure.
Other woman's husband: Oh, and honey, can you get me some applesauce?
Other woman: Get your own damn sauce!

Men's stupidities

Woman: Honey, can I have some earrings at Tiffanys?
Woman's Husband: Sure, darling.
Woman: Honey, can I have a purse at Prada?
Woman's Husband: Sure, darling.
Woman: Honey, can I spend all the money you've ever worked in your entire life and decorate my car in six-carat diamonds?
Woman's Husband: Sure, darling.
Woman: Honey, can I cut off ESPN?
Woman's Husband: Get the hell out of here, you evil bitch!
by una chica fantastica January 01, 2006
318 558
 
91.
my friend showed me this:

Women = Time X Money
Time = Money
Women = Money squared
Money = root of all evil
Women = all evil
I don't hate women, i just thought that was funny
by Honjo Norgen January 12, 2006
518 804