Someone who must absolutely never find out about your girlfriend
John: I'm with you because I love you, I'm married to my wife because she has money.
by Xathian May 31, 2009

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uhh...eh...
so what do you wanna do tomorrow?
- i dunno. (long awkward silence)wife...
by wife... September 13, 2003

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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The number one stalker in your life. Your consciousness, the number one voice in your head. Whatever has marked you as its prey.
I was trying to get away from this guy that was following me around, then I thought, "time to throw on the good ol wife beater."
by Anthony Wheeler September 27, 2007

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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something that Australia men obtain when they become too lazy to masturbate, and then regret it for the rest of their lives.
Bruce: I'm getting tired of stropping the knob five times a day, it's time I got a wife to do it for me.
by Sheepshagger July 19, 2006

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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verb: when one of your friends gets married to a chick that is pure evil. The most common result of which is never seeing your friend again because his new wife has sucked the marrow of life out of your friendship. Used in anger, general despair, or for humorous effect when all you can do is laugh about the whole situation because it's so retarded.
1. Dude, he totally got wifed!
2. She's got him so wifed, he doesn't know his moose-knuckle from a pimply walnut.
or when marriage becomes a quickly-approaching cloud of doom...
3. She's wifing him, man. It's only a matter of time :(
by colin February 25, 2004

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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WASH. IRON. FUCK. Etc.
God DAMN IT WOMAN DID I STUDDER, Get me a Beer. I love you honney. now go slip into that cute lil number so I can bust a nut and have you make me babys
by ALABAMA MAN February 16, 2004

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

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A great idea invented by women to suck the life out of the men they proclaim love for only to, within weeks of marriage, turn into a poisonous paranoid haridan intent on destroying everything about him she was supposed to love, the bastards!
I have a wife, that's me fucked then!
by Fon April 16, 2005

The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt