| 1. | chillax | ||
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dude relax, chillout; chillax aw man do i have to write an example? i'd rather chillax
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| 2. | ¿';..;'¿ | ||
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It's a vampire with eardrops :) Fear my vampire ¿';..;'¿
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| 3. | funny bone | ||
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the bone called Humerus, Hunorous, moron. When you say you hit your funny bone, you hit your Humerus, not your humorous.
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| 4. | Eww lesbians | ||
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A straight females reaction to non-straight females.
A straight females reaction to non-gay porn. A straight females reaction to what you were watching five minutes ago... Guy: Hey babe, wanna watch some porn?
Female: Well I'm kinda busy right now and- Eww lesbians! Female: I googled "p0rn" yesterday and all I got were Eww lesbians results... Other female: Well at least you didn't get twelve thousand pages of furries... Female: ....0_o... Other female: Yes rly.... Female: What are you watching? I thought I told you not to fap on the keyboard... Male: This was a pop-up, I swear! It WANTED me to watch it! Female: You installed Internet Exploded again behind my back didn't you?!! If Apple finds out about this they are seriously going to have your ass on a- EWW LESBIANS!! |
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| 5. | shoplifting spree | ||
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When a shoplifter (sometimes accompanied by 1 or more accomplice) just goes crazy in a store. more...
How this shit works: They bring a bag They all communicate together (sometimes through phones, sometimes through codes) One goes inside a fitting room to "try something on" Accomplice passes the bag inside, Accomplice passes all the goods. Shoplifter puts it in shopping bag, then just bounces. NOTE: Some stores dont have the sensor "tags", but a very good shoplifter has tools for this. There is nothing a pro-shoplifter can't untag. The only really legit way to bust a shoplifter is: *random bag checking (at the door), this doesnt happen too much though, since employees have much better shit to do. *camera sees the accomplice passing shit to the lifter. (remember, the lifter puts bags the merchandise in the fitting room, and for them to say that they have video evidence, and it shows the lifter in the room is gonna violate privacy laws for the store) *or if the lifter messes up, forgets to untag a merchandise. (remember, a professional lifter could steal up to 1000$ worth of merchandise per store visit) The art of shoplifting is a very risky business to be in. To excel in it, someone needs: *excellent accomplice coordination, *be able to analyze what the employees are thinking just by their body movements. *be able to know what tools works for what tags *be able to know the ins and out of a particular store (such as where most employees would be, where they usuall... |
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| 6. | Apple | ||
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what the fuck are you looking up apple for? what did you think you were going to find... you know that round fruit that humans call an apple.
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| 7. | Stalin | ||
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Not the ideal person to represent communism, but moderately successful nonetheless. Q: Why was Stalin so successful?
A: Because he was in-STALIN the five year plans. |
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