wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which 

You can take all of your wishes and wants, dreams, desires, and prayers, and put them all together....they still do not amount to shit.

Dad, I want a pony! Well, you can wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up faster.

wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which by Papa Bubbles November 5, 2017

in the light, which I see

Something an Ars from Bat-Yam would probably swear in, to prove his innocence.
from Hebrew.

"I didn't do it. I swear to you in the light, which I see".

in the light, which I see by phlegmat March 26, 2005

Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about 

A twist on the saying ,"shit in in one hand and ask with the other and see which one gets filled 1st", targeted at complainers and whiners.

Whiney person: Everything sucks as usual.
Me: Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about.
Whiney person: That's the last time I complain to you about my life and also why are my boots in the bathroom?

Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about by The Dark Anus (JC) February 26, 2019

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of. 

A reply given to someone who wishes for something because a part of their life is unfair, basically stating that life is full of good and bad things. In essence, wishes mean nothing.

This is the earliest version of the saying, with the reference to Germans eating shit coming from American soldiers in WWII.

You know what they say Ted: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of. by Bill Tetley June 19, 2011

The likes of which we have never seen

The biggest cliche the world has ever known. Mostly used when crippled by a limited vocabulary. Can pertain to Nuclear war with North Korea, flooding, record breaking Hurricanes that aren't caused by climate change (obviously), inauguration crowds (probably) etc.

Yo' moms: "Have you heard the Don on the news today, addressing the hurricane victims in the trailer park in Naples Florida?"

Me: "Of course. He just made "The likes of which we have never seen" the biggest cliche ever. A cliche, the likes of which we have never seen."

The likes of which we have never seen by Kre8ivity September 14, 2017