| 1. | tard | ||
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Look peepole, its not cool to name person tards. My brother tard, my mother tard, and my father a semitard--i thought he normal 'till we founds him eating grass last weeks like a cow; now we know he the most tarded. but my teacherz tell me i real smart. they say im the smartest kid in the specialist class of them all. yay! Heretofore, my entire family considred my father relatively (that is relative to the rest of my family) smart; however, his recent dietary choices have led us to the unequivocal truth: he is a tard. In fact, he is a tard of the highest order (a profound tard, defined as a person possessing an IQ under 20). That is, while both my father and our cow Milky enjoy chewing on grass, the latter, suprsingly enough, is the smarter of the two.
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| 2. | Tentacle tard | ||
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-noun
1.) Someone so ridiculously inbred that it's amazing they don't have tentacles growing out of their face. 2.) A mentally retarded squid. Dude 1: Where's Jim?
Dude 2: Playing World of Warcraft. Dude 3: Jim's such a fucking tentacle tard. |
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| 3. | tardbaby | ||
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Sara Palin called to Levi Johnston "Where's my little tardbaby. Levi was busy filling her daughter Bristol Palin with his Moose Meat and didn't answer.
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| 4. | liberty city | ||
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Liberty City is definatly New York and not in Miami, it's so obvious, tards. There's gunna be a slughter in Liberty City tonight, where's my PS2!?
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| 5. | jammed | ||
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To be retarded or otherwise mentally deficient. "I can't figure out how to work this toaster."
"Dude, that's cause you're jammed." kid: "I like your hat. Can I have it?" you: "Sure" <Later> Your Friend: "Where's my hat?" you: "It was ugly so I gave it to that jammed kid." |
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| 6. | german hanky | ||
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After sex with a condom the mustard patch or tardy patch becomes an issue so you leave the room to find something to clean up the mustardy goo. You invariably end up in the kitchen where you pick out the grimy dirty yellow dish cloth that will serve as clean-up. You then hang it back up since it's done it's job. I wonder if I should tell my roommates about the german hanky I used to clean up my tard patch. Hmm, on second thought maybe not.
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| 7. | Tard Clap | ||
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A form of clapping where your wrists are limp and you engage in syncopated clapping with your elbow and your wrist, wildly flailing about. This form of clapping is often accompanied by phrases such as "Deaauurrgghhh or Errrraaagghuuurrh or MY DICK!". Bill: "Is that man having a seizure?!"
Bob: "No, he's just a mentally handicapped individual having an episode of the tard claps." Fred: "John, are you okay? You look like a dilapidated seal tripping balls on acid." John: "Deaauurrgghhh MY DICK!!! *tard clap*" |
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