when you have sexual intercourse with a close relative while using a shotgun to take pot shots at trespassers

The only part of the United States that really matters. The East Coast, Maine through Virginia, is home to America's largest city and the global financial capital...New York, or "the city" since all the rest pale in comparison. The East is home to other important cities such as Washington DC (wait, isn't that the capital?), Boston (wait, isn't that our smartest city?), and Philadelphia (wait, isn't where America was born?). The East Coast has the country's finest resort areas at its various islands and shores (Maine, the Cape, Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, Long Island, the Jersey Shore, and Delaware Coast) and mountain areas (Poconos, Berkshires, Catskills). The East Coast also has the best food (everyone else THINKS they know pizza, subs, and bagels). The East is home to our best colleges (ever realize all of the Ivy League schools are in the East?), public transportation that makes the rest of the country look like sub-Saharan Africa and, we have class. Apparently the rest of the country forgot what it meant to get dressed up...no it isn't your "nice" jeans. We still know that you are supposed to wear belts AT ALL TIMES, not supposed to show underwear and when someone is talking to you..keep eye contact.
Sure East Coast people are skimpy on the "politeness" but at least we are honest. We won't smile and laugh just to be agreeable...we will form our own opinions and make them known. In sum, remember, it is called the Eastern Standard for a reason.