The most important day of a woman’s life. A day invented by women for women, planned since their early childhood, to eventually rob a man of half his life savings he has worked his entire adult life to achieve. Immediately after a woman accepts her alleged Prince Charming boyfriend’s proposal, her estrogen immediately turns her into a bridezilla and she goes into high gear calling her mother and friends, reads every issue of Modern Bride Magazine to get ideas for her dress, the bridesmaids dresses, the cake, the invitations, the flowers, and scoures the internet for where to take the honeymoon. All this while the nonchalant groom-to-be takes it all in stride and brags to his buddies how he will finally be able to get some whenever he wants (forgetting the fact that he hopes his bride-to-be will never find out he’s screwing one of the future bridesmaids and having to get a home pregnancy test). The groom-to-be, knowing he will soon not be single anymore, gives an all out effort to go to as many bars, nightclubs or strip joints with his buddies while he can to find all the girls he can screw before committing to “the one.”
The couple allegedly lives in several years of bliss, only to eventually end when both lovers hate each other and seek a divorce attorney. The woman eventually gets the man’s balls thru his wallet by getting half his life savings that took his entire adult life to achieve.
A wedding is nothing more than an expensive day invented by women for women in an attempt to scheme a man of half his life savings it took his entire adult life to acheive.
a spiffy ceremony in which two people get married only to divorce/kill eachother a year later.
"when i say shotgun, you say wedding"
The instance of a £15,000/$27,000 event featuring two people taking the fisrt step toward divorce, recieving 12 toasters, dancing to lame Celine Dion songs and eating obscene amounts of cake.
At least one embarrasing drunk is required.
Went to a wedding. Got drunk.
An event which will provoke the release of all known human bodily fluids, though not every person in attendance will release all of the fluids. Among the fluids to be released:
* Tears: The mother of the bride will cry at how nice her daughter looks and how beautiful the event is;
* Nasal discharge: Someone is bound to sneeze during the service;
* Sweat: The groom will be sweating, as he’ll be wondering if he’s making the right choice and ponders how his life may change;
* Saliva: “You may now kiss the bride …”
* Urine: At one point, all guests are going to have to take a leak;
* Vomit/stomach acid: Someone’s bound to have a few too many at the reception and spend much of the time driving the porcelain bus;
* Semen/vaginal fluids: The couple will get their freak on for the first time as husband and wife, if not the first time ever;
* Milk: If the bride gets pregnant, her ta-tas will produce milk when the baby is born;
* Blood: The divorce a few years down the road will result in either physical or figurative bloodshed
Better bring a towel - weddings result in loss of bodily fliuds!
Typically, a $20,000-$50,000 party intended to represent a heterosexual couple's devotion to one another (see marriage
). Such a party usually involves a year or more of planning and lasts only a single day.
You're going to stay married damnit, cause we didn't pay $40,000 on your wedding for nothing. -- A mother to her daughter 5 years after marriage.
The fusing of two metals with a hot torch.
Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding as “the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.” Well you know something? I think you guys are two metals … gold medals.
Yeah yeah get on with it! Where is the food in this place?
Hurry up with this wedding! I wanna go home!
The process of removing one's weeds from one's garden
Websters defines a wedding as "The process of removing one's weeds from one's garden." - Homer Simpson