| 15. | New Classical | ||
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In 500 years time. We will have forgotten about the filth that Mozart and Beethoven puked up and instead future generations will finally be able to appreciate good music such Nelly, Chingy, Benzino and the almighty 50 CENT (Praise his name foolish mortals)
Morzart was so crap, he didn't even earn a lot of money. He died poor and in an unmarked grave. 50 cent is rich because he had the talent to make GOOD music so he has made a lot of money. Old Classical will be retitled 'shit and rap will be titled 'Classical' to show future generations of its greatness. It will be the term to achknowledge the greatest time in music when MTV (which is to true music lovers what Jesus is to true Christians) was playing phat beats every day and rap was the norm. Rap is truely the only true form of music and requires the most talent. Let's see the likes of Mozart try an mix a repetive, electronic beat the way Eminem can. Rap will truely be recognised as a defining moment in music when classical, jazz, blues, rock and choir and other bullshit will be forgotten. Old classical music doesn't even have any lyrics let alone swear words! Stay far away from that shit and watch MTV. MTV doesn't play shit like classical or jazz because MTV is god and we must obey it's wisdom.
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| 16. | Jehovah's Witnesses | ||
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A Christian religion often called a cult. They are well known for their frequent missionary visits, wherein they knock on your door, armed with pamphlets and magazines. They should not be confused with Mormon missionaries; a distinct difference is that Jehovah's Witnesses will try to tell you that your religion is wrong using their analytical facts. JW Missionary: So what religion do you belong to?
Me: I'm a Mormon. JW Missionary: Well, your Book of Mormon contradicts the Bible! Me: How so? JW Missionary: Well, we don't have any of them with us right now... |
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| 17. | the bible | ||
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you people are so fucking smart aren't you? "The Bible is God's true and spoken word. Jesus Rawks!" Don't you understand it's not jeebus that is gonna save you, or buddha or fucking alaaaaaah either. Nothing is going to prevent the people of this world from killing each other. it's never going to stop. accept it, move on. figure out new and better ways to do it. but please for the love of humanity stop fucking looking for some cosmic being to come down and explain away gay people and muslims and all the other shit that you religious twats are too retarded to understand. Stop looking for ALMIGHTY GOD to come fix all the world's problems. Because you know what? It doesn't fucking matter if God exists or not. Hurricanes still blow down cities, tsunamis still tear the assholes out of island nations, oil companies and insurance agencies are gonna keep taking all our money and we aren't gonna do shit about it as long as we keep asking for Pat "Take em Down" Robertson to talk to GAWD for us!! Wake up, morons. Think for yourselves. Quit buying into this cultural bullshit that your parents are feeding you. You can't prove shit. Oh, and don't talk to me about "faith" okay. because faith is a great thing, no one can deny that. but you could have faith in my almighty ballsack and you'd do just as well. it's about US not GOD. that is all. The bible says it is "God's word," and so does the koran and countless other books. So all you have to do is write something down, sign it," -God", and in 2000 years all your moron descendants will read it and say "See how it says '-God' at the end. No human being could have written this. It must really be God talking to us." Oh yeah, they will. Try it.
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| 18. | got you last no returns | ||
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A stupid thing boys say in early elementary school that has no real purpose. Kid A will tag kid B, and then as kid A is running away as fast as possible, he will yell "got you last no returns!" which means that kid B is tagged, and can't tag kid A back. Kid B will say to himself "darn!" but that is about the extent of its impact on his life.
Sometimes kid B will try to tag kid A back, before kid A can say "got you last no returns," but kid A is prepared for this, and will jump backwards so as to be out of kid B's reach. Again, none of this has any real purpose, because it is not in the context of a game of tag; it is just random. As we were passing the other second grade class, two boys from the other line ran through our entire line tagging everyone saying "got you last no returns" to each of us, as fast as they could.
Four years later, the same two boys still had not gotten over the fascination of got you last no returns, and as one of them was passing by me, he tagged me... but, not thinking, he accidently tagged my chest. I think this surprised both of us, because he ran away even faster than usual. |
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| 19. | Taurus | ||
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An all purpose car that is the best to learn to drive in, since if you hit anything it will make the car look better. Comes in sedan, or if you're lucky you'll get the wagon which seats 8 uncomfortably. Don't plan on having the car long, as it seems to have a smoking problem and only lasts till 70K (and if you say yours lasted longer you're lying)!!! People will try to pimp it out, like Brad, but he is a sissy and likes cats so it's okay. Brad went home every weekend to wash his pimped out Taurus.
Mom spilled her coke all over the roof of our Taurus. After our Taurus was in the shop for 2 days we had a huge bill. |
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| 20. | mosh pit | ||
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Started by the underground punks in the seventies, but frequently (and wrongly) associated with metal heads and nu metal. Basically, at a PUNK SHOW you and your droogskick the living shit out of eachother during a nice song, say, sex and violence by the exploited.
more...
Mosh Pit Vocab- The Two-Person Approach- frequently used by first-timers and punk ladies who dont want to get beaten too badly. The smaller of the two partners is picked up by the larger of the two and swung around hoping to kick the pussies and emo kids who aren't in the mosh pit in the face with their steel-toed-boots. Regular style- at a local show, a bunch of kids kicking the shit out of eachother. Normally started when one runs into another one, (purposefully or not) and gets punched in the face. Ass Fag Emo Kids- kids who stand on the outside of the pit and enjoy pushing the people, who #1- are trying to genuinely get out because their nose is broken, or #2 just got pushed out by someone else in the put, back into the pit quite hard and quite meanly. If you ever get in contact with one of these kids, push them in the pit and do everyone a favor. The Light Fixture- One hangs... |
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| 21. | DEWK | ||
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Acronym for Desire experience Will and Knowledge. Thought of as a substitute in the academic world for actually skill or practice. Dude, we can win this contest- we've got the DEWK!
I can try to will a pony to materialize in front of me, but no matter how much DEWK I have it won't happen. |
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