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42.
It means someone needs to talk to you. Or if your penis is inable of pleasuring a woman, it COULD mean something else.
Hey, we need to talk. I think I have a plan for robbing that bank.

-Hey. We need to talk, about last night... Yea. You know. That fives minutes. YEA that five minutes.
by Ahmose October 16, 2003
 
1.
You are screwed.
"George, we need to talk. Are you cheating on me?"
"Fuck."
by Satan September 20, 2003
 
2.
Is your clue that you need to act quick.
If you're good you'll beable to dump her before she dumps you.
If you're really good, you'll fuck her first and then dump her before she wants to cuddle.
-Situation A-
Woman: We need to tal...
Man: (interupting) I've been thinking, and ... you're a slut. And I want your sister.

-Situation B-
Woman: We need to talk.
Man: That sounds wonderful. I have been planning to have you come over to my place and to cook you a candle lit meal.
The Plan: Pick her up and take her to your place (she'll feel dependent on you and won't break up b/c she needs a ride home). Suck it up and cook something she likes. Include wine, cucumbers and good n plentys (they'll all make her horny). After dinner play some good music. By then the wine will be kicking in and she'll be doubting her earlier plans and you can work your stuff. It'll be some of the best sex you'll have b/c she'll have been through a bunch of woman emotional stuff. She'll most-likely be on top too. Once your done with firsts and possibly seconds. Tell her you need to take her home so you can get to work tomorrow. Dump her at her door step. Do not back down and keep seeing her. If you do, she'll dump you for sure in 4-7 days.
Peace and happy masterbating.
by Louis January 25, 2004
 
3.
womens secret code for : haha sonny, you're fucked.
honey, about our relationship, we gotta talk.
by Jack White September 20, 2003
 
4.
Actually means, 'I need to talk, You better listen'.

Generally pronounced by a female voice
Susan: Dera, we need to talk.
Sam: (time to put all my non-listening skills I been practicing)
by [offbeat] April 11, 2004
 
5.
1) The most pointless phrase in the English language because you are already talking when you say this.
2) Means: You're screwed.
3) Signals the beginning of the end of a relationship.
4) Your wife/girlfriend wants to bitch about something. The perfect time to fake a heart attack.
1) A: We need to talk
B: We already are, dumbass.
2) A: We need to talk
B: Ahh shit.
3) A: We need to talk
B: *packs bags*
4) A: We neeed to talk
B: *falls to the ground clutching heart*
by Kay March 21, 2004
 
6.
female version of "I need to complain"
"We need to talk" will often be said after toilet seats are left in the upright position, and/or you come before she does and/or in the event of forgotten anniversaries.
by Captain Rad November 22, 2002
 
7.
Variation of "I like you but you aren't what I want"; "I need to complain about something"; "I'm a muff diving whore"
X- Hey Sam?
Sam- What?
X- We need to talk...
Sam- Oh shit...
by Sam A.M. October 17, 2003