|1.||Voltaire's Mechanized Army|
Similar to Voltaire's Angry Glove, but involves an egg beater.
Fill a drinking glass 3/4 of the way with shards of glass and 1/4 of the way with glue. Grind up 1/8 cup of Fiberglass insulation into a fine powder. Fill a bowl with glue.
Dip the egg beater into the bowl of glue to coat it with a thick layer. Begin rotating and dip into the fiberglass. Repeat several times until there is a thick coating of fiberglass powder on the egg beater. At this point, feel free to experiment, try adding razorblades for fun.
Insert the drinking glass, open end first, into the orifice of your choice. Then with a firm swift motion, ram the egg beater in behind the glass, make sure to break it! Begin egg beating away! Mix it up a little though, move deeper and shallower- try different speeds, angles, and amounts of physical force.
Remember, you can do anything well as long as you put your heart into it!
When the angry glove was no longer enough, Voltaire's Mechanized Army was called into action.