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3.
A programming language for morons, and people that are too stupid to learn real programming languages.

It is commonly taught in schools and colleges, so retards can understand it and become "leet".
Him: Man, i'm cool because I know Visual Basic.
Me: No, you're not.
by I need no introduction. October 03, 2005
 
1.
A complete waste of time that ruins your life
Programmer1: Hey, why are you using visual basic
Programmer2: Because i'm a mindless zombie and Bill Gates is my master. NEVER QUESTION BILL!!!!
*Programmer 2 stuffs computer down Programmer 1's throat*
by Yelsew Foolface April 05, 2005
 
2.
A powerful RAD (rapid application development) progamming language that allows for easy creation of windows programs. Its main flaw is the fact that micro$hit made it, and therefore under their monopoly, it only runs on windows. Another complaint is about the way many new users use the language. They just paste a couple of objects on a form, user a few undeclared variables (variants, which are slow), and run the program. A real program creates objects at runtime and user delared variables at all times (forced by Option Explicit.) Other than that, it is a good language. It is easy enough to learn for beginners (unlike other languages such as java/C++) and powerful enough to perform complicated calculations and make windows-based programs and games with readable code.
'This is a sample VB program
'It finds the prime factors of any number the user specifies
'Declare Objects
Dim WithEvents txtNumber As TextBox
Dim WithEvents lblPrime As Label
Dim WithEvents cmdFactor As CommandButton

Private Sub cmdFactor_Click()
Dim counter&, answer$, number&
'Check to make sure user entered a valid number
If Not IsNumeric(txtNumber) Then Exit Sub
If Len(txtNumber) = 0 Or txtNumber > 2000000000 Or Sgn(txtNumber) = -1 Then Exit Sub
'Create variable = to what user entered.
number = txtNumber
'factor out 2's
Do While number Mod 2 = 0
number = number / 2
answer = answer & " * 2"
Loop
'factor out other numbers
For counter = 3 To number Step 2
Do While number Mod counter = 0
'exit when primes are exhausted
If number = 1 Then Exit Do
number = number / counter
answer = answer & " * " & counter
Loop
Next counter
'results
MsgBox Right$(answer, Len(answer) - 3), 15, "The Prime Factors of " & txtNumber & " are..."
'gives the textbox focus
txtNumber.SetFocus
End Sub

Private Sub Form_KeyDown(KeyCode%, Shift%)
'pressing escape exits the program
If KeyCode = 27 Then Unload Me
End Sub

Private Sub Form_Load()
'set up form
With Me
.KeyPreview = True
.Move (Screen.Width - .Width) \ 2, (Screen.Height - .Width) \ 2
End With
Set txtNumber = Controls.Add("VB.TextBox", "txtNumber")
With txtNumber
.Move (Me.Width - .Width) \ 2, (Me.Height - .Width) \ 2
.Visible = True
End With
Set lblPrime = Controls.Add("VB.Label", "lblPrime")
With lblPrime
.Caption = "Find Prime Factors Of What Number?"
.Move txtNumber.Left, txtNumber.Top - 800, .Width, .Height + 400
.Visible = True
End With
Set cmdFactor = Controls.Add("VB.CommandButton", "cmdFactor")
With cmdFactor
.Caption = "Factor"
.Default = True
.Move txtNumber.Left, txtNumber.Top + 800
.Visible = True
End With
End Sub

Private Sub Form_Terminate()
'clean up
Dim clrObject As Object
For Each clrObject In Me
clrObject = ""
Next clrObject
End
End Sub
by too good for a name December 05, 2004
 
4.
A proprietary programming language developed by Microsoft to allow lazy people to code programs that only run a little bit more slowly than raytracing a detailed environment on a hand-operated processor.
C++ Programmer: Hey man! What are you programming?
Visual Basic Programmmer: I'm writing something to find all the music tracks on my computer and write their file paths into an m3u playlist.
C++ Programmer: Wow! How long have you been working on that?? It sounds really intense!
Visual Basic Programmer: 10 minutes.. and I'll be done in another 5.
Perl Programmer: *walks in* Hey guys, look at this! I wrote a script to find all the music tracks on my computer and write them to an m3u playlist in a little bit less than 90 seconds!
by Daedalus_Prime February 06, 2008
 
5.
A programming language and development environment that object oriented programmers think they are above.

While a windows program with a graphical user interface in C++ may take months in terms of laying the groundwork and API necessary to perform certain functions, the Visual Basic equivalent could take ten minutes.
C++ Programmer: Hey man! What are you programming?
Visual Basic Programmmer: I'm writing something to find all the music tracks on my computer and write their file paths into an m3u playlist.
C++ Programmer: Wow! How long have you been working on that?? It sounds really intense!
Visual Basic Programmer: 10 minutes.. and I'll be done in another 5.

C++ Programmer: Dude, if you were l33t like me, you would be programming in C++.
Visual Basic: Really? Right now I'm writing an FTP Server! What was the last thing you programmed?
C++ Programmer: Um, I wrote tic tac toe..
Visual Basic Programmer: Really? For Windows? That's pretty cool.
C++ Programmer: Actually its for the console.

Java Programmer: Dude, portability is where its at. Your sleasy Visual Basic program is only good on a Micro$hit computer.
Visual Basic Programmer: Yea well.. When was the last time you compiled a java app for a non Windows machine?
Java Programmer: Actually never.

Computer Science College Student who only learned C++: I have never programmed anything useful in my life. I yearn to be one of 3,000 programming a single function working on Microsoft's Windows 2020.
by The KMan April 17, 2007
 
6.
Inserting a pair of low power reading glasses up someone's ass before performing anal sex.
After a long night of visual basic, Bill left in the morning. George then happily read Cannery Row after finding a pair of reading glasses under the sheets.
by dingus_brody August 11, 2011
 
7.
A very powerful, but yet underrated programming language made by Microsoft. It's a very easy language to learn, and it usually has suprisingly good results.

Many people think it isn't a real programming language, but nothing could be further from the truth. It is a good language. Here is why:

Most patches, trainers, and hacks made for the cool games many people play are made using visual basic.

Many programs that you can produce in visual basic are extremely lightweight.

For all you C++ people who think it is a fake, waste of time language, well, not many people want to have to get a degree to know what their doing when programming. What you make in 1000 lines of code, you can do it in visual basic in about 2.
Visual basic code:

If textbox1.text = "" then
button1.enabled = false
else
button2.enabled = true
by Mr. Visual Basic Programmer July 10, 2008