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1.
A gaping abyss of a pussy. Feels like fucking a bucket of rice pudding.

Other similes would include: minge like a hippos yawn, pussy like an axe wound or the little used, arsehole like a clowns pocket.

Note from author:

Hope you guys don't suffer the same fate. It's an experience that will stay with you your entire life!!...
Felt like I was throwing a sausage up Bedford High Street.
Fucked this girl last night, her pussy looked like a vandalised bus seat.
by julian December 15, 2013