Any day of the work week that's not monday, but feels like a monday.

A college prep school located in Marion Massachusetts. Decent academics, great sports, no art, and a strict dress-code. The population consists primarily of rich kids, overachievers, jocks, and fashionable Asians. The guys tend to be pretentious, somewhat intelligent, fit but not horribly attractive, and basically douchebags. Some of the male dorms are pretty gay. The girls are equally pretentious, extremely attractive, more focused on schoolwork, and don't wear skirts that fit the knee-length dress code. Each one owns a pair of Uggs and something with horizontal stripes. The food is good, especially white pizza Thursday and cookie Monday, but occasionally a bit repetitive. Avoid the caesar salad. People usually hook up in Hoyt or in the laundry room under the Chapel. Everyone likes to brag about something, from their academic achievements to just how loaded they are. Clubs are basically a joke and none of them meet after the first week. Nearly everyone is heterosexual and has a Twitter. Rumors spread very fast, so people say that the walls are thin. No one really understands the website, especially the teachers.

Prologue - Enter The Kenneway

Ken Kenneway (better know by his alias "the party lizard") is a popular party icon from the midwest who made his way to florida in the late 1980s via a simon and garfunkel reunion tour. Sometime during the early 90s Kenneway fell into a brief drug induced coma which resulted in his belief that he was indeed 80's opera rock frontman Meatloaf. It was during this time Kenneway was arrested and charged with possession of bootleg concert footage from the popular alternative rock band INXS. He was later given a restraining order as he followed many of the members to their houses and tried to engage in clumsy awkwardly sexual activity and it is rumored that he is responsible for the untimely death of frontman Michael Hutchence. It is also rumored that during this depressing time Kenneway made it publicly known he was converting to Islam and would be joining Cat Stevens in the middle east.

Chapter 2 - Kenneway's Redemption

After being in exile for over a decade Kenneway made his way to Israel because he was having withdrawals from matzoh and what's more he had become the president of the Matisyahu fan club. During this time he rediscovered Judaism and decided to convert back and vowed to never denounce his name "the party lizard" and vowed to always keep his heart warm with a bottle of manischewitz.
Though Moses accepted Kenneway's apologies and aloud him to once again be apart of the chosen people and the synagogue's monday night...