More recently used to unintentionally irritate people who prefer straight forward answers. Literally, "something is urgently wrong but instead of me just immediately telling you, you must figure it out yourself in the amount of time it takes me to make this sarcastic and unhelpful remark."
Can be typed as well.
Example, this used to be proper protocol in an urgent situation--
Bob: "Joe, watch out for that large pothole you seem to be unknowingly driving into."
Joe: (avoiding pothole) “Thank you for your timely and straight-forward warning. I appreciate you using the first sentence after you were alerted to this danger to tell me about this pothole, instead of uttering a one-worded, useless phrase.”
Modern protocol, same situation--
Bob: (sarcastically) "Um..." Joe: “What?..... What?” (car drives into pothole)
Bob: “Wow, good job.”
one of the 2 most commonly used words in the english language (the other is uh
usually it means that the speaker is searching for an idea (or at least thats usually when i use it)
reporter: y is the segway too redundant?
dean kamen: um...that is...um well...
A word used when speaking and uncertain of another word. Used to stall for time to think of a new word if you're dumb.
I, think you are really, um... unique?
In conversation, a word that announces one's contempt for and hostility toward the person they're about to contradict. Most common on the Internet, for obvious reasons.
Person 1: The first movie I ever saw in the theater was "Empire Strikes Back." Man, that was intense for a 6-year-old, so much larger than life. And when Darth Vader said "Luke, I am your father," I was freaking out. I'll never forget that day.
Person 2: Um, Vader never said that line.
If you really don't know what to say and/or you are in the middle of either making up something or trying to remember what you about to say, this vocal contortion is emitted.
"Hey, um, can I go to the drug store?"
"I, um, went to the, um, bowling alley"
with hesitation, don't know what the fuck your going to say.
Uh, also with hesitation, but normally you do know what the fuck your going to say.
um.. homey grandmas from china are attacking me.. so uh.. that's another good one: uh. I have to go.
an answer commenly used when your screwed.
dad: "did you have sex with my daughter?"