You may be driving an ugly car if...
1) It is on the periodic table, under the symbol (H), and is named 'Tonka Truck'.
2) Hernando Cortez is trying to run you off the road.
3) Your car can't decide whether it is a car or an 'EXT' pick up truck.
4) If another car collides with you, they bounce off the rubber siding trim.
5) Several cars are following you with their hazard lights on, because they think your car is a hearse.
6) It didn't have the jaguar ornament on the hood.
1) Honda Element
2) Pontiac Aztek
3) Subaru Baja
4) Chevy Avalanche
5) PT Cruiser
6) Kia Amanti
7) Too poor to own a Lexus, too tasteless to buy a Corolla or Camry.